


the OFFICIAIlL CHat 4 REALL ultim8s ONLY and also hinata

by shslprisoner



Series: the OFFICIAIlL CHat 4 REALL ultim8s ONLY and also hinata [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, M/M, Texting, anyways im in hell, i wrote this in ONE day im tired, they r on Discord, vaguely. this is all very vague
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 22:03:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13176126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shslprisoner/pseuds/shslprisoner
Summary: gaymer: by weed i meant good pizzagaymer: and also maybe weed. i could smoke out gundham i know hes allergic to itsing us a song youre the piano man: whatRaWr XD: WHATHajime Hinata: excuse me?gaymer: gundhams allergic to weedHajime Hinata: how do you know that//whats up im jude and this is my hell chatfic where everyone is alive and happy uwu thanks





	the OFFICIAIlL CHat 4 REALL ultim8s ONLY and also hinata

**Author's Note:**

> \- wgats poppin im velvet peace sign emoji
> 
> \- im supposed to be writing serious fic
> 
> \- please take this instead as a form of catering 2 exactly what i want uwuwuuwuwuwu
> 
> \- its also a form of denial
> 
> \- ryouma isnt dead!!!!!! haha what do u mean!!!!!!!!!!!! sobs
> 
> \- disclaimer i never fuckin played the first game im basing this off of vague notions and the 7 episodes of the anime i watched lmao

Message log for [ **the OFFICIAIlL CHat 4 REALL ultim8s ONLY and also hinata** ] at [11:47]

 

 **gaymer** : anyone awake in this chilis 2nite

 

 **gaymer** : all gamers present say aye

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : aye

 

 **RaWr XD** : aye

 

 **sing us a song youre the paino man** : aye!!

 

 **byakuya** : aye

 

 **anime protagonist** : aye

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : aye

 

 **robbery** : aye

 

 **shsl fishfood** : aye

 

 **the ultimate detective** : aye

 

 **pervert** : aye aye, captain~

 

 **gaymer** : teruteru please die

 

 **byakuya** : seconded

 

 **Byakuya 2** : seconded

 

 **byakuya** : wait a fucking second

 

 **gaymer** : are we really doing this again

 

 **gaymer** : imposter byakuya ill call ishimaru on you

 

 **Byakuya 2** : please dont

 

 **Byakuya 2** : im just trying to live my life

 

 **byakuya** : live it somewhere else

 

 **anime protagonist** : woah sick burnz

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Makoto, why are you awake.

 

 **anime protagonist** : idk why are u awake :////

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Fair.

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : hey no offense but why are yall in this chat

 

 **byakuya** : most of the school is in this chat. it’s all of the ultimates

 

 **sing us a song youre the paino man** : yeah

 

 **robbery** : ya lol

 

 **the ultimate detective** : kaede i mean no harm but uh

 

 **sing us a song youre the paino man** : what

 

 **the ultimate detective** : uh

 

 **RaWr XD** : YOUR NAMES SAYS PAINO!! LOL

 

 **sing us a song youre the paino man** : shit

 

 **robbery** : owned

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : ouma please shut the fuck up

 

 **robbery** : absolutely not

 

 **gaymer** : ok well i was just gonna invite whoever was awake to come play games with me because i need to drown out the noise coming from gundham’s room

 

 **gaymer** : and also kerokiyos room. its across the hall but he and amami are practicing for his theater class and by now i know all of hamlets monologues

 

 **Byakuya 2** : whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of korekiyo’s bullshit or to take arms against a sea of noisy dormmates and by opposing them end them. To die, to sleep, No more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to:

 

 **gaymer** : please be quiet

 

 **gaymer** : anyways since apparently no one in this school sleeps

 

 **gaymer** : _@here_ who out of you is generally calm

 

 **the ultimate detective** : me?

 

 **gaymer** : shut up saihara youre not even the real ultimate detective

 

 **sing us a song youre the piano man** : i fixed my name and also: hoshi

 

 **the ultimate detective** : yeah hoshi

 

 **robbery** : hoshi

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : hoshi

 

 **anime protagonist** : hoshi

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Hoshi

 

 **pervert** : hoshi

 

 **shsl fishfood** : hm. well if i had to say, kirigiri seems the most likely candidate

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Oh, my thanks.

 

 **gaymer** : all right you two i need your consultancy

 

\---

 

 **gaymer** made a new chat with **shsl fishfood** & **THE ultimate detective**

 

 **gaymer** named the chat [ **motherfuckers we are responsible** ]

 

 **gaymer** : ok i need friend recs

 

 **shsl fishfood** : gonta

 

 **gaymer** : hes asleep

 

 **shsl fishfood** : oh i know. hes a loud snorer. i feel bad for the people in the rooms next to mine

 

 **gaymer** : ooooooo hoshi sleeps with BUG BOY

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : We already knew that

 

 **shsl fishfood** : thats not news

 

 **gaymer** : yeah but i still get to make fun of you

 

 **shsl fishfood** : fair

 

 **shsl fishfood** : does that mean i get to make fun of you and sonia

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : What did you want us for?

 

 **gaymer** : FRIEND RECS

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : For what

 

 **gaymer** : gaming >>>:3c

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Chihiro is good

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : They’re very nice.

 

 **gaymer** : damb ur right they live next to me but i havent talked 2 them

 

 **gaymer** : tell them 2 head next door

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : They’re on their way with funyuns

 

 **shsl fishfood** : may i suggest celestia ludenberg?

 

 **gaymer** : no you may not

 

 **shsl fishfood** : ok well then miu, i suppose.

 

 **gaymer** : OH I LOVE HER

 

 **gaymer** : shes like souda but better

 

 **gaymer** : well. shes like souda but with three key differences

 

 **gaymer** : shes a girl (good) and i dont know her boyfriend (good) and i dont know what she sounds like during sex (good)

 

 **shsl fishfood** : why do you know what souda sounds like during sex

 

 **gaymer** : i have the room next to gundhams

 

 **shsl fishfood** : oof

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : I’m so sorry

 

 **gaymer** : anywasy

 

 **gaymer** : ill invite her if shes awake

 

 **gaymer** : kaedes coming over too

 

 **gaymer** : yall can come game if u want

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : “yall”

 

 **shsl fishfood** : “yall”

 

 **gaymer** : oh sorry ur uninvited :/

 

 **shsl fishfood** : its fine, i wouldnt want to wake up gonta

 

 **shsl fishfood** : kami-san knows i dont deserve him, i want to be as good to him as i can

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Why must all of you tease Angie about her god

 

 **shsl fishfood** : fuck did i say kami-san

 

 **gaymer** : that was gay lol

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : One more thing before I decide to come;

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Will Saihara be there?

 

 **gaymer** : lmao no he sux

 

 **shsl fishfood** : thats a little mean but you do have a point

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Then you have my attendance.

 

\---

 

Message log for [ **the OFFICIAIlL CHat 4 REALL ultim8s ONLY and also hinata** ] at [12:13]

 

 **RaWr XD** : SO THERE IBUKI IS, BARBECUE SAUCE ON MY TITTIES,

 

 **robbery** : and she’s just sitting there right. and i have these fucking ribs

 

 **the ultimate detective** : oh no

 

 **robbery** : oh yes

 

 **robbery** : so then kaito walks up and he asks me,

 

 **gaymer** : hey anyone kno where 2 get Weed 4 Cheep

 

 **anime protagonist** : ill report you to ishimaru

 

 **byakuya** : ill report y

 

 **byakuya** : oh

 

 **anime protagonist** : wow babe were so in sync

 

 **pervert** : ooooooooh togami finally worked up his nerve huh? what a shame

 

 **byakuya** : please just die

 

 **gaymer** : by weed i meant good pizza

 

 **gaymer** : and also maybe weed. i could smoke out gundham i know hes allergic to it

 

 **sing us a song youre the piano man** : what

 

 **RaWr XD** : WHAT

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : excuse me?

 

 **gaymer** : gundhams allergic to weed

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : how do you know that

 

 **gaymer** : yasuhiro tried to sell it him once and i overheard

 

 **robbery** : order from zeeks theyre scrumptious ;P

 

 **pervert** : you know what else is scrumptious

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : please dont

 

 **byakuya** : stop

 

 **pervert** : my cooking! if you wanted a pizza i could make one, chiaki, im already in the communal kitchen

 

 **anime protagonist** : Teruteru Redemption Arc

 

 **gaymer** : go ahead teru

 

 **gaymer** : chef to your hearts content

 

 **pervert** : will do ;)

 

 **gaymer** : anyways me and some girls are playing games it my dorm so if you, too, are a lesbian come on over and join us

 

 **robbery** : what if were not a lesbian

 

 **gaymer** : youre not invited anyways, ouma

 

 **gaymer** : i accidentally invited all of the lesbians to my midnight late night game sesh so its a lesbian game sesh now

 

 **gaymer** : well. hoshi was gonna come but he didnt wanna get up and wake his boyfriend

 

 **Byakuya 2** : wait hes dating someone

 

 **Byakuya 2** : who is he dating hes a gremlin

 

 **Byakuya 2** : who could love a gremlin

 

 **anime protagonist** : gonta

 

 **robbery** : gonta

 

 **RaWr XD** : GONTA

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : gonta

 

 **gaymer** : gonta

 

 **THE ultimate detective** : Gonta.

 

 **byakuya** : it’s gonta.

 

 **Byakuya 2** : ok i get it

 

 **gaymer** : anyways. lesbians, you know the drill

 

 **gaymer** : drills.

 

 **gaymer** : because celestia might be there

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : alright well have fun at your game night!! <>

 

 **Dicks Out For Hope 2k18** : My, my, Hajime-kun! Is that a homestuck reference or do my eyes deceive me?

 

 **gaymer** : fuck nagitos here. Run

 

 **Byakuya 2** : bye

 

 **anime protagonist** : bye

 

 **robbery** : oh hai komaeda kun!!!!

 

 **gaymer** : fuck im outta here

 

\---

 

Message log for [ **the OFFICIAIlL CHat 4 REALL ultim8s ONLY and also hinata** ] at [6:24]

 

 **gaymer** : morning gamers

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : hello chiaki!!

 

 **Hajime Hinata** : how’d it go last night? :0

 

 **gaymer** : well.

 

 **RaWr XD** : WE PLAYED ONE OF THOSE ANIME VN THINGS AND GOT EVERY GIRLS PANTIES

 

 **RaWr XD** : TENKO AND HIMIKO SHOWED UP AND CONVINCED US TO GET SOME PIZZA BELL

 

 **pervert** : my cooking wasnt good enough for them 0=;(

 

 **wizard emoji** : is that a hat

 

 **gaymer** : himiko! welcome to teh land of the living

 

 **wizard emoji** : im only here because i want to make sure tenko and ibuki were still alive

 

 **RaWr XD** : IBUKI IS ALL RIGHT!!

 

 **RaWr XD** : IBUKI IS NOT SURE ABOUT TENKO X8

 

 **wizard emoji** : ok well someone tell me when she or miu gets back

 

 **gaymer:** sure lol

 

 **gaymer:** anyways long story short were banned from every pizza bell within 10 miles

 

 **Hajime Hinata:** hey quick question

 

 **gaymer:** ya

 

 **Hajime Hinata:** what the fuck

 

 **gaymer:** reasonable

 

 **gaymer** : itll be easier to explain irl

 

 **Hajime Hinata:** meet me at the starbucks down the street

 

 **Hajime Hinata:** i need #deets

 

 **gaymer:** reasonable

 

 **gaymer:** consider it done

 

 **Hajime Hinata:** see yall later then!!

 

\---

 

Message log for [ **the OFFICIAIlL CHat 4 REALL ultim8s ONLY and also hinata** ] at [10:57]

 

 **THE ultimate detective:** What in hell’s name happened last night.

 

 **the ultimate detective:** kirigiri! youre awake!

 

 **the ultimate detective:** please leave my house :^)

 

 **THE ultimate detective:** _@gaymer_ **_What in hell’s name happened last night._ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> \- thanks for reading i suppose
> 
> \- fun fact: gundham being allergic to the devils lettuce is me projecting. i, too, will never be able to experience that sweet mary jane without having an allergy attack
> 
> \- find my dr bullshit on twitter & tumblr @gaygundham
> 
> \- im so sorry
> 
> \- comments are appreciated. pleas tell me to get back on my job lmao
> 
> \- remembwr to lick cement and survive :^)[]


End file.
